Find Your People

About the book

Jennie Allen argues that loneliness isn't a personal failure but a byproduct of how modern life is built: independence over interdependence, convenience over proximity. Drawing on her own experience of moving cities and starting over, she lays out how real friendship actually forms — through nearness, repetition, honesty and a willingness to be known. The book blends personal story with concrete, unglamorous advice on making and keeping deep friendships as an adult.

What I thought

I liked how unembarrassed this book is about wanting closeness. It names something a lot of people feel but rarely say out loud — that we're surrounded by people and still lonely. What stayed with me is the idea that community isn't found, it's built, mostly through small unremarkable acts of showing up. It made me want to text first, invite people over before the apartment is tidy, and stop waiting for friendship to happen by accident. Warm, encouraging, and quietly motivating.

Favourite ideas & themes

• friendship
• community
• loneliness
• belonging

My verdict

A kind, useful nudge toward real connection.